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In response to a series of tweets and a gushy Facebook message Schoan sent her way, Spelman told him she had a boyfriend and wished him well.

But as many other women online and IRL have experienced firsthand, all was not well.*This prompted Jessica Roy at The Cut to wonder whether a best way to turn down a guy even exists.

So straight from this veteran in the dating trenches, here are four tips on handling rejection that I wish someone had told me:1. There really is a place for our brain’s sensibilities in managing dating rejection.

Too often we let our sensitive, divorce-worn hearts take centre stage, when what we really need to do is assess it from a rational standpoint.

If I could write a note to my younger self it would be: “Don’t take it all so personally.

On Monday, Buzzfeed writer Grace Spelman publicized Harry Potter fanboy and (more disconcertingly) Feminspire co-founder Benjamin Schoan’s online flirtation-turned-aggression toward her.Any way rejection is served to a newbie dater post-divorce, it feels crappy. When I first got divorced, I took every form a rejection I received personally – especially when I began online dating. ”And when I actually started going out on first dates, only to have some brush me off thereafter, my disappointment and self-battery went up a notch or ten.If I sent a man an email and he didn’t reply to me, I thought, “What doesn’t he like about me? Now, almost two years into my divorce and many dates later, I’ve learned many a wise thing about how to date AND handle rejection.There will be people who don’t get you or who don’t like your look but none of that matters.Most women have this inexplicable need to make every guy want them and then they get upset when they find one who doesn’t and start to wonder what’s wrong with them.

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